August 29, 2020 – My Surgery Story by Anca Munteanu
This year seemed to arrive with a lot of excitement for many people. A new decade, a nice round number, the new roaring 20s full of the promise of adventure and fun.
For me it was a year that started with the realization and sadness that I was going to lose my grandmother. I was blessed to have two beautiful grandmothers; they both taught me about love, giving, selflessness but also about perseverance and strength. I was lucky to have my grandma Lucia for a long time, she was 48 when I was born and died this year at 98. Not too many people are this lucky! And she has always been special to me and my role model. She was beautiful (the movie star kind of beauty) but she also had a beautiful soul. She was a rebel in her own way (I know I have it from her), fierce and strong when it came to her loved ones, family and what is right, although she was feminine and tiny. She loved fashion (I took that from her too), she made the best desserts I have ever eaten (because she used the secret ingredient, love) and she loved us with such devotion. In February I had to travel to Romania to say goodbye to her as she was nearing the end of her life. It was the hardest trip I had to make but I wanted to spend some final quality time with her. I will never forget her kind demeanor and how happy she was to see me; her kind words thanking me for being there or taking care of her; her prayers kept us safe throughout our life. She passed away peacefully on April 9 and is now with God whom she loved so much.
Then Covid started…something I never expected to experience for so many reasons! Not just the peril the virus brought for so many but also the economic destruction and societal problems we still feel and we will have to deal with for a long time. The adjustment of being confined in our own homes, working long hours and harder than ever was not easy and it brought a fury of feelings: sadness, fear, anger and resentment. Life was forever changed! The only good thing that happened was that it brought my family closer together. My husband and I loved being around each other more; we each have our own working space that gives us some separation, while spending more time together. And we have been supporting each other so well in all this.
Covid started around my birthday…a birthday I dreaded! Because I was turning 50. A number I didn’t look forward to. It seemed too close to being old, to changes that come with aging, on so many levels. I don’t like talking about my age because I truly believe “age is just a number” and what you make of it, so many didn’t even know how old I am. I also know that there is a lot of prejudice about aging: “you are in your 50s now, you shouldn’t wear a short skirt anymore,” or “you should cut your hair,” or “you should behave your age.” I have always been a rebel and never believed in preconceived notions about anything, or old-fashioned mentalities. I am lucky to have good genes when it comes to not looking my age (thank you mom and grandma!) and always looked younger. I remember when I was in my 20s, I hated that because I felt that it didn’t help me in my career, because people didn’t take me seriously as I looked too young. I started really appreciating it in my 30s and 40s, especially when people thought I was my daughter’s sister on many occasions. Nobody usually guesses my age. I am saying this not with pride, it has just been a fact. So, I didn’t really want to celebrate my birthday and it was overshadowed by the pandemic anyway.
I never thought though that 50 would bring health challenges that I never imagined. For the past 3 years I have been extremely healthy. I lost weight and maintained it; my health has been better than ever. I took up Pilates Reformer, which I completely love and has transformed my body. I became strong and felt really good about myself.
Then all of a sudden, around May or June, I started having very strong headaches. At first, I thought they were caused by stress and working too many hours. But they were very different than any headache I have ever encountered. I also had a weird noise in my ear when laying down, it felt like I was hearing my heartbeat or blood flow in my ear. The headaches started affecting my day to day functioning, they woke me up in the middle of the night, or “paralyzed” me in the mornings. At the beginning of August, I thought it was time to call my primary care doctor (a Covid survivor). He wasn’t in the office at the time but took my call and said to go see him when he is back. On August 6 I had an eye doctor appointment – my driver’s license had expired (I forgot that I needed to renew it on my birthday) and to renew it online, I had to get my eyes checked; plus, I needed new contacts. So, I thought that I could get a neurologist appointment, while I was there. I knew something was really not right. Dr. Gold was wonderful, very thorough, asked me lots of questions. There were a couple of things that made her suspicious and she ordered an MRI/MRA. While the MRI looks at the brain tissues, the MRA looks at your brain’s vascular system. I had the MRI/MRA on August 14 and an hour after the procedure I received a call with the diagnosis: I had a rare vascular malformation called dural atriovascular fistula. Came down like a ton of bricks! The bad news was that I had a ticking bomb in my head which can cause a stroke or deadly hemorrhaging; the good news was that they knew how to fix it through minimally invasive vascular brain surgery. Or that I didn’t have a tumor! I was already grateful that I didn’t have to shave my head and have my skull cut open! But I was scared!
On August 17 I had another in-person appointment with a vascular neurologist who confirmed the diagnostic of the malformation/fistula and told me they also found a blood clot that was partially obstructing the left sigmoid sinus in my brain, close to the fistula. The same day I had a telemedicine (video) appointment with the doctor that would fix the blood vessels in my brain. He is what they call an interventional radiologist, a different kind of brain surgeon that fixes problems through minimally invasive procedures.
I know that unfortunately, it is not uncommon for people not to trust doctors. I have heard so many “excuses” from people not wanting to go to the doctor because “they only want to take your money,” or “I know better what my body needs,” or “doctors are crooks.” I have a different opinion! I believe doctors are God’s soldiers. Sure, there are some bad ones (who left God’s army and joined the evil one), there is bad in everything and every category of people and professions but that is not the majority. I believe that we need doctors! I personally find doctors I can connect with on a few levels, the ones that I can build a good patient-doctor relationship with, that I can ask a million questions, that I can tell when I don’t agree with something, etc. I do my research: I look at their credentials, reviews and schooling but I also find out about what they do outside of their profession. I try to paint a whole picture about them as a person, not just being a doctor.
Although many thought I should get a second opinion, I felt comfortable with Dr. Raz, the man in whose hands I would have to entrust my life. He is Italian, he has an accent - we had something in common; he seemed passionate about his skill and seemed he had a little of the “rebel” vibe I like. I looked him up on Instagram and saw he enjoyed traveling, that he had a cute dog, loved his father. That he loved food but also ran a marathon. I had a good feeling about his energy.
He explained that I would need two procedures: an angiogram of my brain where he would go through my groin and take many pictures of the vascular system, which will give him the best view of what was wrong and help him plan the treatment (a procedure under general anesthesia that takes about an hour and a half) and then the actual surgery (endovascular brain embolization), to fix the malformation (which takes about four hours). There are people who want to avoid general anesthesia twice and want to have both in one. Dr. Raz said that it is better to do them separately, because doing the angiogram first will give him the opportunity to study my case better, confer with other colleagues and have the best strategy. So, I took his advice, trusted him completely and scheduled the angiogram for August 25th and the embolization for August 26th.
I am usually an open book and don’t believe in faking reality, feelings and what is going on. I am a very direct person (which often makes people not like me) but I believe I have good intentions and I try to be a good person. I believe in sharing and talking because that is how we learn from one another, how we support one another, how we discover things and grow. So, I told most of my friends and family what was ahead of me. I knew at least some would pray for me and God likes to see outpouring of love through prayers and is how He sends His love back to us. There were people praying for me in many places, including many churches.
I underestimated what was ahead of me! I didn’t realize that although minimally invasive (meaning I didn’t have to get my skull open to access the vascular system in my brain and they would access it through my groins), the surgery was still brain surgery. I didn’t realize the impact it would have on my body and also my psyche and my soul.
The first procedure was hard enough. General anesthesia with intubation is not fun. After the procedure, I had to lay flat on my back for 6 hours so the artery closes completely and I didn’t bleed. I was lucky to have the best recovery nurse, her name was Maria and I found out she was a practicing orthodox Christian like me. I believe she was sent by her namesake, Virgin Mary, to care for me! She was so kind and compassionate and sweet, she paid me the best compliment of my life! I hope God watches over her and keeps her safe. Dr. Raz said that he was able to take all the images he needed and that he would be able to close the fistula and fix the malformation but would probably not be able to get rid of the clot partially obstructing my sigmoid sinus.
The second procedure is what I called “hell and back.” I will never forget it because of so many reasons. I felt all the prayers that were lifting me up and God’s presence that never left me. I was wheeled into the surgery room and I was scared. Not so much of dying but of being left a burden for my family if something went wrong. Although I am not afraid of dying, I wanted more time to spend with my daughter and my husband. My life has finally been complete having both of them and I wanted to experience their love a little longer, in this dimension. I didn’t want to bring pain to any of them or my mom… So I was praying to God not to leave me and work through the doctor who had my life in his hands. Dr. Raz has been very compassionate when talking to me, his demeanor is warm and friendly. He is not a tall man but has hands like a pianist. He wears his hair like a monk, with a small “man bun” and a short beard. [I had to tell him that the professional picture on the hospital website doesn’t do him justice and he needs to update it – because it doesn’t truly project his personality and that matters when patients look him up). Before the surgery, when I asked him again about the blood clot, he said that he studied my case (the day before he spent two hours looking at the images he took), he had asked for others’ opinions and he will try something that if successful, it will help with the clot. When he entered the operating room, he was a different person than what I have seen so far! He was like a general commanding an army that was going to war: firm, focused and determined. He was strategizing in a strong voice, reviewing my case out-loud and directing his team. That is the last image I had of him before I was gone in the land of general anesthesia. The General is his new nickname!
When I woke up it felt that I was in the torture of hell. My whole body was in excruciating pain. Again, I had to lay flat on my back for 6 hours after the surgery, so the incisions in both my groins would heal properly, without bleeding. I had been in surgery for over 5 hours and it was almost midnight when my daughter and husband were allowed to see me. They have gone through their own hell because they were not informed that they took me into surgery late (I had said goodbye to them at around 3:30 and didn’t have my phone to call them and let them know about the delay). They didn’t know what was taking so long and if I was dead or alive, if there were complications or what was going on. So, the reunion was very emotional, to say the least! Unfortunately, because of Covid rules in the hospital, they were not allowed to stay with me overnight. I know they were heartbroken leaving me there alone during the hardest part of my recovery. Lying flat on my back was excruciatingly painful. I also discovered that I had an egg size bump on the back of my had which freaked me out as it was on the side where I had the procedure. It seemed that because my head was squeezed in the half circle that held it on the operating table and probably how I was moved during intubation, there was an edema under my scalp, which starting hurting badly too. I, was cracking jokes to distract myself from the pain or was trying to talk to the nurse but for the most part I was left alone staring at the clock hoping that the torturous time will go faster; or at my phone, trying to manipulate it with one hand as the left one was in a contraption that held the artery needle stabilizing my blood pressure. The night nurse, a young man, wasn’t as compassionate as my recovery nurse the previous day. He was a good ICU nurse but pretty emotionally detached to have any real compassion. My friend Alina from Romania called me at around 2 in the morning and stayed on the phone with me for over two hours, to distract me from the pain. She was one of God’s angels that watched over me as the time went so much faster talking to her; she had so much patience with me! The continuous talking was my mechanism to avoid focusing on the pain.
As the morning arrived and I was allowed to move, the sunrise uncovered a beautiful hospital (if you can call a hospital room beautiful), corner room with all top to bottom windows, spacious, with the most amazing view of Manhattan, including the Empire State Building. It almost felt like I was floating in the clouds. Alone, I had time to reflect on my experience and realized it was life changing. That it definitely changed my priorities and how I see life. That morning, I was able to talk to my mom and friends. The afternoon was for visitors and my sweet friend and co-worker Rebecca came to visit; then my daughter who brought be an otter stuffed animal (because I love otters for the way they show love) and a book of Elizabeth Taylor quotes (I opened it at: “I believe in life and I’ll fight for it. I believe you have to put up your dukes and fight even if you don’t know what you are fighting against.”, seemed so appropriate…) and my brother, followed by my loving husband and the love of my life!
Dr. Raz couldn’t visit me but he called. He asked dr. Nelson, his professor, to come take a look at the bump on the back of my head. Dr. Nelson is the doctor that perfected the endovascular technique used for my surgery, 30 years prior. Before that, my condition was treated with high risk open skull surgery and before MRIs, often misdiagnosed. Dr. Nelson explained to me that dr. Raz was able to get rid of the obstruction in my sinus by going in with a special balloon that when inflated opened the cavity and eliminated the blockage. He said that it was a complicated case that they were able to solve better than they had expected. I was grateful to say the least! For modern medicine and medical devices and for the amazing skill of my doctor! For being in this country and having access to all this. And first, to God for guiding him and working through him. I am still amazed at how he could spend 5 hours working through a small instrument in the arteries and veins of my brain, looking at a computer screen, to place special material that sealed the malformation. His craft is beyond amazing! I can see his work on the CT scan of my brain, little white dots that are now part of me. The material used is called onyx, so I joke that I am now precious.
As a joke, I now have a new appreciation for underwear. It was one of my concerns when thinking about surgery, that I will not be able to wear underwear. When they discharged me and I was able to slowly put on my underwear and regular clothes, I started feeling more normal again!
I am slowly recovering! My body feels like I’ve come back from battle (I was too part of the General’s war), general anesthesia and the trauma of surgery does a number on you. I am surrounded by love and attention! My family is amazing! I will have to do an MRI in for months and another angio in 6 months (hopefully through my arm and with sedation, so an easier procedure), to confirm the fistula is healed completely and will not come back (I still need prayers!) It will be around my 51st birthday, so my family and I decided that we will celebrate that in style, hopefully with a trip somewhere!
I realize now more than ever how much I am loved! By God and His Saints that were all watching over me: Jesus our Savior, Mother of God, Saint Nektarios, Saint Luca of Crimea, Saint Parascheva of Iasi, Saint Haralambie, Saint Spiridon, Saint Pantelimon, Saint George, Archangel Michael and all the others. By my husband Alex, who is my guardian angel and warrior, by my daughter Isabelle, who is now glued to me, my sweet mom, my in-laws and my aunts in Romania, my cousin and godparents, all of my friends who prayed for me, texted and called, my spiritual Fathers both here and in Romania who prayed feverishly, my co-workers who sent me flowers, and all the people who called and sent good wishes on Facebook or other means. All of my doctors and nurses! And last but not least, I am grateful for Yris, a friend who went through a similar surgery a year ago and who walked me with patience and love through the whole process that she knew so well; she is my surgery sister. If I forget anyone, or didn’t mention you by name, please forgive me! I am grateful to all and hope that I can repay your love with love.
I am sharing all this because I believe sharing might help someone. Because my experience might help others, would give them faith and courage. That would give others trust in doctors and their bodies when something doesn’t feel right – check it out! It may save your life like it saved mine! And love, fiercely, first God and then people! Even if they don’t love you back!
46 FEMEIA. octombrie octombrie FEMEIA. 47
sănătate
Anca este o femeie frumoasă, feminină, dar modestă și smerită.
La un an de la marea cumpănă, e convinsă că prin credință și bunătate
suntem mai puternici și putem învinge chiar și afecțiuni complicate.
TEXT: Luminița Tăbăran FOTO: arhivă personală
Cumpăna
de la 50 de ani
file:///C:/Users/IM/Downloads/F08_049.pdf
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